1. |
||||
Gonna be defensive 'cos you're perceptive more than I
And you get pensive, well I am pensive all the time.
I'm running out of things I meant to say to you
And every time I have to think of something new.
And when the breadboats leave the shore
I'll be watching, drooling, or
I'll be standing right beside you.
In a flash of reason I bought me some crisp and tart
I offered you some as a bonus with my heart.
You only wanted one if that's alright with me;
There's no use entering a false economy.
And when we sat along the pier
And you were real and standing near
I was terrified to greet you.
|
||||
2. |
Thank You, Elijah Wood
02:09
|
|||
Thank you Elijah Wood
In Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
'Cos it was you who committed the only crime
Which I could not forgive throughout my entire life
You portrayed a character named Patrick
And he was a tool and I
Think that you should apologize to me
For your role within that movie.
Thank you Elijah Wood
In Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
You portrayed a character who stole somebody's life
And now you're gonna do the same to me.
And you're the king of mediocrity.
You never stood a chance against Jim Carrey.
You know who you are.
You piece of shit, you know exactly who you are.
This is not a joke; I know I've taken it too far.
Elijah Wood, it's all the same to me.
And you're the king of mediocrity.
You never stood a chance against anybody
Except me.
|
||||
3. |
||||
Red eyes
Rubberized feet
A magnesium skull
Watching
Cloudy
with a Chance of Meatballs.
He is
My friend
He's an integral part
He has
Half a brain
And a third of a heart.
There is
Still time
To look over your exam paper again
Time will not
Be afford to write
Down your name at the front at the end.
Please write in
Blue or black pen
Don't scribble out, no don't erase; I need to see what you have done.
And I will
Return
When the damage is done.
|
||||
4. |
Infinite Jim
03:04
|
|||
I'm Jim Halpert from The Office,
Sarcastic as can be.
I got hired for this job
When I said something about bees.
Jim Halpert from The Office --
I have no feelings at all.
[...]
And I'm kinda tall.
That is all that Dwight
Will ever say about me.
I will be here for
All eternity.
Jim Halpert from The Office.
Jim Halpert from the US version of The Office.
And when it comes to closing,
There's nothing else to do.
I put away my nice tweed coat,
And stick back on my shoe.
And when I leave[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Office_(American_TV_series)][ /The Office/ (show)]],
For the last time every day.
There's always something asking:
"What is left to say?"
I am Jim Halpert
From The Office (US)
Based on The Office (UK),
Written and directed by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant
And starring Ricky Gervais,
Available now ALL NINE SEASONS on Netflix and DVD.
And this is my message to you, the people:
I am real. I am living in a television programme.
And every single time you re-watch an episode of The Office,
I am forced to relive my entire life from the beginning.
And I look at Pam and I wonder,
Does she feel this too? Is she also trapped? Or is she just some sort of homunculus?
And Friedrich Nietzsche said,
If you could relive your entire life from the beginning,
Over and over -- all the pain, and the joy, and the misery, and the happiness,
You'd be a hero.
But I can do that, no I can't do that. No.
Let me OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUT.
|
||||
5. |
H
03:12
|
|||
6. |
||||
If only you could be John Carpenter
But I can't use a plane
If only you could feel symplectic space
And be an incompressible
Hamiltonian flow
If only you could be the Microphones
And I quote "Feel my size"
My hands are not rulers.
I am only human.
|
||||
7. |
Find Me Now
02:35
|
|||
I have many purposes, it's something people know
Underneath the surface something moves but doesn't grow
I said something yesterday that you misunderstood
I thought it was evil and you knew that it was good.
I think if you tried to find me now (/Tried to find me now/)
You'd only lose yourself somehow in this world
I think if you tried to find me now (/Tried to find me now/)
You'd only find someone less proud of himself.
Underneath the bushels of the morals of despair
I could crawl my whole way through if only you were there
I suffer in silence for the day that I might laugh
Pressure /versus/ life choices on logarithmic graphs. (/Wo- oah- oah/)
I think if you tried to find me now (/Tried to find me now/)
You'd only lose yourself somehow in this world
I think if you tried to find me now (/Tried to find me now/)
You'd only find someone less proud of himself.
This child, she didn't hate herself. She hadn't been taught to yet. And I don't hate her either. Hating her would be impossible, I think too cruel, even for me. But beneath the rage, the agony, that child still lives within me: in my smile, in my laugh, in my hope. She lives within every version of myself I reflect on with malice. So if I hate myself I must also hate that child. That smile, that laugh, that hope. And I don't. I can't. I won't. Because the past is the past, myself is myself, and today I look like this. And it's all thanks to her.
|
||||
8. |
When U Sleep
03:41
|
|||
When I look at you (you!)
Oh! I don't know what's real
Once in a while
And you make me laugh
And I'll sleep tomorrow
And it won't be long
Once in a while
Then you take me down
Then you walk away
(uh-uh-uh-uh uh-uh-uh-uh, muuuhh)
(ooooo-)
When you say "I do"
Oh! I don't believe in you
I can't forget. No.
When you sleep tomorrow
And it won't be long (lo- ho- hoooong)
Once in a while
When you make me smile
And you turn your long blonde hair (long blonde hair!)
I'm dizzy...
You're whimsical...
MUSIC...
hsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
[Ozzy Osborne screetch]
(When I look at you) I don't know what's real!
(When I look at you) I don't know what's real!
(When I look at you) I don't know what's real!
(Oh! When I look at you) I don't know what's reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee--
|
||||
9. |
People Like You
08:23
|
|||
I'm gonna pull you out of the fire 'cos I'm a hero.
Everything you've ever done is deleterious.
I'm gonna wait until you retire to let my fear grow.
Just for now I'm gonna make everything deliberate.
I hate people like you
But I don't hate you
I only hate your friends
And everything they do
Makes me feel like
Nothing ever ends.
And I will die in a great big fire
And never see the light of day again
I will die in a great big fire
And never know what happens in the end
I will die in a great big fire and
Never sing another song again.
I'm gonna pull you out of the fire 'cos I'm a weirdo
Everything you've ever done is purely heroic
Even when you thought to retire it was a let-down
Everything you say to me now makes you a hypocrite.
I hate people like you
But I don't hate you
I only hate your friends
And everything they do
Makes me feel like
Nothing ever ends.
And I will die in a great big fire
And never see the light of day again
I will die in a great big fire
And never know what happens in the end
I will die in a great big fire and
Never sing another song again.
And I will die in a great big fire
And never see the light of day again
I will die in a great big fire
And never know what happens in the end
I will die in a great big fire and
Never sing another song again.
And I don't know
If there's too much more to be said.
With open arms
I will sooth your withered head.
There's always something for you:
Someone's food or someone's bed.
And I hated people like you
And I became you
And didn't have to pretend
And thank you Elijah Wood
Because you killed my only friend
And I will be the only one
Who will bear this thing out to the end.
And we'll all die in a fire.
|
||||
10. |
k thx bye
03:57
|
|||
I will say thanks to everyone
For sticking it out with me
And if I ever was somebody else
And you couldn't tell me
And if I ever said the wrong thing
But you knew what I was trying to say
Well you don't have to hold your peace now
'Cos it's over. It's okay.
And I'm not being vulnerable --
I'm not even telling the truth.
And I should be more like Weird Al
And sing about Star Wars and food.
And I should be more like you:
More resilient to my flaws.
And not afraid of consequence
And pretty much okay with cause.
And this goes out to everyone
Even you -- you know who you are.
And I will sink the boat I tried to build you
Before it goes too far
And you should go and cry your eyes out
I can't hear you, or imagine what you'd say
And though I can't forgive you now
I can thank you anyway.
Go fuck yourself.
|
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